Tickling my feet healed my friend (The power of touch, the magic of laughter)
It’s all about the power of the moment. A moment of honesty. A moment of vulnerability. A win. For 4 years, I had been working with a particular client and by virtue of the time invested and the power of the work itself, we had become extremely comfortable sharing things with one another. My clients become my friends and that is something that I am extremely proud to say! After years of coaching, this friend and I chatted often and kept in touch with one another on a regular basis.
One day, he and I were chatting informally as two gay men about the kinds of things that two gay men might both find relevant. I casually mentioned that I personally had a foot fetish for men and that I was especially intrigued by ticklishness. I also confessed that I had extremely ticklish feet and that my favorite thing in the world was to be tickled there. This admission poured out before I even realized I had spoken the words into existence. While I was initially concerned that I had overshared some personal information about myself with a friend who I had met professionally as a coaching client, my friend quickly set my mind at ease. He reacted excitedly about just how cool he thought it was that I enjoyed being tickled and that he had secretly shared a curiosity about the same thing. An important lesson was learned. I shared. He listened. A beautiful moment was created as well as a new dynamic of our friendship.
While this kind of thing used to embarrass me, I was and am currently at a phase in which I totally own my interests to a point that has made me feel significantly more secure than I used to be about it. And in this case, a bigger and more powerful truth was realized: When you open up to people and joyfully share your authentic self, you give them the chance to validate and honor you for being the beautifully unique individual that you are. He celebrated me.
Additionally, he admitted something else: He told me he would consider it an honor and thoroughly enjoy having the opportunity to tickle my feet if he ever visited me in California (He lives on the East Coast). As it turns out, he visited me last month. We had a great time together watching movies and I showed him around Los Angeles. And I let him tickle my feet. What could have been just a fun little moment primed for a good laugh turned into a transformational therapeutic experience that left him a changed man. And I’m not exaggerating a bit. This isn’t frivolity. Nor is it self-indulgence. By his own words, tickling me greatly elevated his mood, brought him joy he hadn’t felt in years and most importantly, relieved him of trauma that had weighed him down for years. This wasn’t a hookup. There was no sex. There is zero romantic link. He tickled me. I laughed. Magic resulted.
Why do I tell you this story? Firstly, it’s true. Secondly, it’s significant. I shared myself. He accepted me just as I am. And even better, he celebrated me. I’m humbled by his transformation from this experience and deeply grateful that something as simple as this could heal a man’s heart.
The moral of the story: Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to share those parts of yourself that you think others might reject or misunderstand. You might think them weird or taboo, but that’s only simplistic societal judgement talking. Those parts of you are beautiful. And they can be healing to more than just yourself!