The Elegant Power of Vulnerability

“Men don’t cry”. “Boys have to be tough”. Do these phrases ring a bell? If you’re a man, these can be some of the most triggering statements one can hear because they imply an instant need for change. You aren’t fine just the way you are. The boy or man that you currently ARE isn’t acceptable or enough, so you have to CHANGE to meet a standard for males that society has decided is acceptable.

But what IS a man? Truly? It depends on who you ask but a man is nothing other than a male person. The characteristics and traits associated with men are simply projections that are dumped on males today. Historically, this was done because man were culturally the protectors and providers for families and communities. In order to inhabit these roles adequately, men were expected to fulfill certain roles just as females were in a complimentary fashion.

But something happened on the way to the forum: Men increasingly felt pressured to exude masculinity so robustly that it became unacceptable to show ANY weakness or vulnerability. A truly sad state of affairs too because vulnerability is one of the characteristics that make people truly powerful! Without vulnerability, a man is a blunt instrument with an overly simplistic purpose and a severely limited range of expression. And THIS version of a man does NO ONE any good in todays society.

Toxic masculinity is an overly used descriptor but it still applies to many men in the world and it’s sad that that’s the case. Because men are SO much better than that! Men can be multifaceted and complex. Men can be emotional. Men can be empathetic, kind and compassionate. Men can be VULNERABLE!! And when we are, we can be the pillars of society that we are supposed to be in the first place!

Men CAN be strong!! We CAN be leaders!! We CAN be providers and protectors! But we don’t need to be assholes about how we embody those roles and we should be the kings of kindness and the most empathetic and compassionate people in society!